Why I Love Holiday Cards!

I love Christmas and New Year's and all the family and magic and FOOD and special moments blah blah blah but I REALLY love holidays cards. It is without a doubt my favorite time of the year. I love making our cards, writing little notes, addressing them and thinking about all of the people around the country who we love who will soon have a card from us.  I love getting them from all of our family and friends - some down the street - some as far away as Hawaii - some who we see all of the time - some who we haven't seen in years.  I love adding new people to our list and I love getting cards from new friends.  I love when December rolls around and our mailbox starts being filled with cards other than bills (because that's ALL we get the rest of the year!)

Some argue we don't need holiday cards anymore now that we are so virtually connected - facebook, instagram, snapchat, texting - haven't I seen all of your pictures throughout the year anyway?  I say phooey to that.  A holiday card goes on my wall.  Because I never clean or organize, it stays there for well over a month or more and many, many times a day I see your face - or those of your children - and I literally smile.  My kids look up at the cards and either say, "Oh, look, that's _____!" and we talk about that family - or they say, "Who's that?" And then we get to talk about who that person is and why or how they're important to us.  It's great for our kids to have a face to put to some of the names we talk about it and it's also great for our kids to see pictures of people who we just don't see that often.  I just love it.  It is not the same when it's an e-card.  

Some argue that it is not environmentally friendly. Or economically friendly. I say phooey to that, too. I don't send out cards all year long - the joy that comes from my December mailing far outweighs whatever carbon footprint I may leave behind or the $150 or so I spend. Yes, all of them will eventually end up in the garbage or recycling - but who cares.  Our hope is that even if for a day, a few days, or a month we will let someone else know we are thinking about them and we love them.  You can't put a price on that.

Here's our card wall from this year.  

If you sent us a card, thank you - we love it! It made our Christmas that much more special to literally see your smiles and your joy - especially if we don't see you often.  It doesn't matter what challenges came in the past year - all those cards show are joy. That's what the holidays are all about. And I'm already excited for what we will find next year in our mailbox. 

Why am I running?

I am determined. 

So I've started running.  Anyone who knows me probably finds this a little odd.  I've never really been like this before.  I'm kind of a lazy, actually...

Just a little over a year ago, my pregnancy with Baby V took a turn for the worse.  Actually, the pregnancy was relatively fine, but my body was fighting it every step of the way.  In addition to insulin dependent gestational diabetes, I developed a bizarre case of mastitis that resulted in surgery, bed rest, and kept me out of work for the rest of the pregnancy.  I was literally the teacher who never returned from Christmas vacation.

January was the worst month.  As a side effect of the infection, I developed weird bruise-like lesions up and down both of my legs from my ankles up to my knees.  It was excruciating to walk.  Getting up in the morning was the worst -- I would essentially crawl to the bathroom, sit on the toilet for 5 minutes or so while letting the blood flow into my legs, and then slowly stand up and hobble around.  Eventually things would get moving enough that I could sort of walk around. It was painful; it was weird; it was demoralizing.

yes, those were my feet

One morning during that painful time, while driving my kids to their preschools, I saw a woman running and thought to myself, She doesn't know how lucky she is that she can do that.  It felt like I would never be able to do anything like that.

Have I always been into running?  Definitely no. In high school, I played field hockey and loved it, but loathed the running.  Run a lap around the field to warm up? Hated it.  Run a few miles for conditioning? Definitely hated it.  Want to join the track team with all of my friends? Nope, it involved running.  I could do it, I just hated it. I liked the feeling of exercise and loved when my body felt strong, but running was just not for me. Periodically throughout my young adult life, I would take up running and it would last exactly one day.  Ten minutes would feel like ten years and all I could think about was when it would be over. 

There has always been one exception to this hatred of all things running related.  At my family summer house there is one route that I have always enjoyed.  Starting around the age of 14, I began to use it to get in shape for field hockey season.  It is rather strange that this short 2 mile run is one I have always enjoyed. It’s on a busy road, but also along the water, which seemed to make up for the fast moving cars.  I would get home and jump into the lake feeling refreshed and strong.  When I was 25 I spent a lot of time at this house and ran a few times a week -- more than I had in years.  Summer ended, however; and I just couldn't find that same groove, that same motivation, the same route that kept me going.  It was around this time that I met Pa and he loves to mention, "Remember when I thought you were a runner?" Ha.  The fact that there was this one place where I could run means that the seed of success is somewhere inside of me.  It just might have taken some extra digging for it to be revealed.

Here I am running my first 5k with my dad many moons ago...

I am still early into this new running gig but I really think it's going to stick.  There's just something I feel inside of me that tells me this is it.  The second week has been harder than the first  - and it's been bitterly cold - but I have my warm gear, and I have that memory of seeing that woman running and thinking that I'd never be able to do that.  My goal is to run a half marathon in May and I really think I'm going to do it.  I know what it felt like to spend hours a day on the couch because I had to - and I'll be remembering that when I cross that finish line.  Or any finish line - it really doesn't matter. Every day that I'm out there running it's for me - to be strong, to get stronger, and to feel good. That's all that really matters.

I am determined.

Top Ten Tuesday

Top Ten Reasons I Haven't Blogged in Two Weeks:

10.  I'm tired.
9.   On a recent night, Baby V was up at 11, 1, 3, & 5.
8.   A. had strep throat...
7.  ...Then a week later A. had an allergic reaction to amoxicillin and was covered in hives...
6.  ...and A. had to go to the ER and then puked up the prednisone she was given for the hives.
5.  V. started crawling, pulling up, and cruising all at once!
4.  I'm having major writer's block and am working on something that I cannot get going.
3.  Our Elf on the Shelf stares at me with his beady little eyes from over the fireplace and taunts me...
2.  Days of Our Lives has totally sucked me in what with their Gabi murders Nick storyline.
1.  I'm tired.

Top Ten Tuesday

Someone reminded me today is Tuesday... which means I said I was going to go with my Top Ten Thing or whatever.  I can't fall off the wagon after just one week, can I?!

Top Ten Things I Love About My Mom

This is inspired by our phone conversation this evening.  She called in a panic because she'd seen a Slate news article that had been accidentally posted to my Facebook page by my seven month old.  That's right, Folks, I gave Baby V my phone this afternoon to keep her occupied on the floor while I watched all important episode of Days of Our Lives prepared an organic and from scratch meal for dinner, and she managed to randomly post an article from my Slate News App to Facebook.

Here's the article

In case you don't want to read the article, it's about how children of divorce deal with splitting up Thanksgiving and how some divorced couples come together for the holiday so the kids don't have to divide time.

Our conversation went something like this:
Me: Hi Mom.
Mom: WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THE ARTICLE ON YOUR FACEBOOK PAGE????
Me: Huh?
Mom: It's about how divorced parents should have Thanksgiving together with their kids.
Me: Huh?
Mom: I've been worried about this ALL AFTERNOON!  What am I not doing as a mother? How am I failing you?
Me: Huh?
Mom: It's the article on your Facebook page!!!!
Me: Ohhhhhhhhhhh Baby V somehow posted that while she was chewing on my phone this afternoon and I deleted it.
Mom: Oh.
Me: Do you really think I'd use social media to work through my issues with your divorce?
Mom: Well it did seem out of character for you.  This makes more sense.

So, here we have it.  In the one minute that this article was up on my page, my mother (who works full time and is not normally online during the day) managed to see it, read it, and immediately fear the worst.  Bahahahahahahahahaha!

In celebration of her fantastic concern for my well-being, here we have it:

Top Ten Things I Love About My Mom.

10.  She can go from nap to high energy in under a minute.  One minute she's sleeping on the couch, the next she's up re-arranging furniture and adjusting picture frames.
9.  She taught me to love reading.
8.  She doesn't get mad when I "borrow" her clothes and act like I never knew they were hers (this never happens).
7.  She does NOT comment on how messy my car is when she has to drive in it.  She just pushes the junk important stuff to the floor and gets into the passenger seat.
6.  She works hard to maintain our summer house as a place where our entire family can come and grow together.
5.  She reads this blog and says it's great.
4.  She never stops learning new things and trying to get better at old things.
3.  She makes me lentil soup.
2.  She has overcome amazing and unexpected adversity in her life with an inspiring and amazingly positive attitude.
1.  My kids think she is way cooler than I am.

Family

Anyone who knows me well, knows that every summer my family spends a lot of time together at our summer house in New York.  It's a hard to explain place because it's not just a house and it's not just a place.  It's the center of everything that we all are.

Our story begins in the early 1900s when three siblings bought a piece of land on the shore of a beautiful lake. Each built a house for their families and began to bring them there every summer. Not much has changed since. In the early 70s we all got indoor plumbing and electricity, and more recently some of us have updated our kitchens, but otherwise, everything is the same.  The windows, the wrap around front porches, the rocky shoreline protected by centuries old pine trees, the original windows, the beaded pine wood panelling...it's all the same  We look at old photographs and there's not much that is different.  When I look at a picture of my great-great grandmother sitting in the exact same chair in the exact same spot on the exact same porch that I do every summer, my breath catches just a bit.  Those three siblings had good taste - and amazing foresight.  Their descendants still swim in the same water and sit on the front porches of those exact same houses and have cocktails together nearly every night. We even eat off some of the same plates.  

In our house, there are small reminders of those people who came before us.  In the attic, my great-great-grandfather's doctor's bag still has cotton balls inside of it waiting to be used. His steamer trunk they used to pack and load onto the trains that brought them from Brooklyn sit in the back corner. My grandmother's college year book rests on the book shelf next to our DVR and my grandfather's flashlight is on the mantle above the fireplace.  Many of us have felt like there are friendly spirits in all of our houses and each of us has different stories to share.  On the eve of my great-aunt's birthday my sister swears she woke up in the middle of the night and heard her walking around her bed (while she slept in this aunt's bed in her bedroom).  My grandfather would routinely tell us "This house is haunted."  But we all knew it wasn't in a bad way.  When we close up the house in October I often feel like all of the spirits of those who came before come to descend on the house as we drive away. They are our winter-time protectors.

Growing up I did not really appreciate this unique situation. I knew how lucky I was to have a summer house on a lake, but I didn't really quite get the immensity of the family connection.  At this point we are all distantly related and have become adept at knowing the difference between a second cousin and a first cousin twice-removed, but how many people out there actually know those far removed cousins?  This is what makes us special.

Last weekend, we gathered for the funeral of one of those family members. He lived a long life with many summers on the lake and while it was sad to lose him, it also brought us all together again. We never see each other in November - it was bonus family time thanks to him.  We filled nearly four rows in a church - the descendants of those 3 siblings with the great taste and the amazing foresight -- not just as acquaintances but as a family.  As I looked at my family from behind (because I was in the bathroom when they all filed into the church together and I had to sit by myself behind all of them... thanks guys!!!) it was striking to me that as much as we love our special spot on the water,  it's more about the relationships that have grown out of those houses.  Next May when we return to open those houses for the summer, I will have cocktails with four different generations that all came from the same spot on the family tree.  It is a powerful notion for me to realize that when I am gone, my grandchildren will be doing the same.  In the same spot. Perhaps even from the same glass.

And here we have three beautiful girls who will grow old together on the shores of this beautiful lake.  Right now they are busy figuring out how to play together  - and while they only see each other a few times each summer, they are always excited when they do. It's as though deep down they already know how special this all is.  Their great-great-great grandparents would be happy. Very happy.

A few thoughts

I'm working on a new post - it's longer than the others so it's taking me awhile.  A few things as I get this blog going:

1. As of today I had 1100 hits on the blog - that is so awesome and thanks for reading! I"m sure 1,000 of them were my mom, but still it's a good feeling for me.
2.  If you want, you can become a follower which just means you'll get an email when I post and it makes me look good.  I think you can navigate to that on the right side bar of the blog... I'm going to work on submitting some of what I write for publication and if I have followers it looks like there are people who actually read my stuff.
3.  You can also comment on the posts - my mom seems to be having difficulty but others tell me it's easy.  I love to hear feedback and if you have something you want me to write about (or more about) then let me know!
4.  Feel free to share my blog with anyone who might be interested - and feel free to share others' blogs with me that I might find interesting.  I will add them to my "reading list" on the sidebar on the right.

Thanks for supporting me - your positive comments since I "went live" have made me feel so lucky and given me the motivation to keep going!

Top Ten Tuesday

I've been seeing lots of blog posts that have some kind of weekly "tradition" - like Throwback Thursday, Friday Finds, Wordless Wednesday, etc... and I like the idea.  But being me and being difficult I have decided to come up with my own thing - so, Top Ten Tuesdays it is. This might be the only Tuesday this happens... we'll see. I'm the decider, remember?

Top Ten Things I Love About My Middle Baby: Zany Z

First of all, now that I have 3 kids I totally understand how the middle child sometimes is left out or left behind or whatever... With the oldest every new milestone is AMAZING OUR CHILD IS A GENIUS!!!! and with the youngest every new milestone is MY LAST BABY TO EVER REACH THIS MILESTONE!!!!  So, with my middle one I worry she feels left out or left behind or not important, which is absolutely not true.  I hope my anxiety about that is just anxiety and not a reality...   

So here we have my Top 10 for this week

10.  She can sleep like a champ.  I knew from the very beginning that she was just like me - a couch potato who loves to lie on the couch and just chill out.  Our first morning home from the hospital she was in bed with me and she was just so content to sleep forever. I knew then we were sleeping soul mates.

9.   She is fearless yet tentative all at once. She does not take risks right away, but once she is comfortable she will be loud and busy and attracting attention in ways that no one else does. 

8.   She loves to pretend and use her imagination.  She will take something that she has heard or read (like the 3 Little Bears) and just run with it. She will dress up and make up stories or lead circle time or sing songs from school.  And she will be happy doing it with someone else or all by herself.

7.   Whenever Baby V starts crying she will immediately start singing our song to her "Baby V V we love you..." over and over again until she settles down.  Baby V has started to settle quickly when she sings to her - she seems to know it's coming.

6.  She has no problem standing up to her older sister, A.  She is one of the few people who does this with regularity.  She will immediately yell, "No, A!!! No!!!" if there is some kind of conflict.  She can get mad on a dime, but she can also immediately be sweet and loving as soon as the conflict is over.

5.   She can and will happily play by herself for long periods of time.

4.   She loves to sing.

3.   She will do almost anything you ask AS LONG as she's gotten a heads up.  No heads up?  Forget about it.

2.  When she cries (which is a lot because she is SO passionate about everything) she produces actual real tears. There's no messing around with her emotions.

1.  She has a spirit about her that is full of life and joy that is contagious to anyone who is around her. Today at Target every person who walked by us smiled at her because she was either singing or telling a story or shouting out a joyful exclamation at whatever crossed her path.  It is fun to watch her learn about the world and fun to watch others get to know her as she does that.

Yup, it's Wednesday already.  I'm behind before I even get started!

Baby Lasso?!

A Product Review: Baby Lasso

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you have heard about an amazing new product for busy parents called the Baby Lasso.  Okay who am I kidding - no one’s heard about it unless you have a lot of spare time like me to read ridiculous stories on the internet (like this one).

Now, when one hears about something called a “baby lasso” it probably brings some interesting images to mind. For me, that image involves my children running amok around our house as I chase them like a crazy woman from the wild west.  Then I whip out my trusty baby lasso, round them up, and ship them off to bed.

Alas, this is not that product.

As a mother of three children, I have changed a lot of diapers in the last five years. Some quick math tells me that number is close to 10,000 diapers (An average of 5 diapers a day x 365 x 5 = 9,125).  So, I have some good authority on the topic of wrestling squirmy toddlers while simultaneously cleaning up some pretty gross stuff.  The Baby Lasso is designed to allow you to be hands free while changing a diaper.  The idea is that you loop/tie your baby’s legs into what appears to be a fabric-like scarf that is draped around your neck.   There are so many directions I could go in being snarky commenting about this must-have baby registry item, but I have chosen to focus on three.

1.  If your baby/toddler is a major squirmer during diaper changes, is it a good idea to tie his/her legs up and hook them to your neck?! If you’re changing the baby on the changing table then that means you have taken your hands off the little jumping bean. My kids are experts at contortionistic acrobatics mid-gross diaper change and so I imagine that they would quickly lift their cute little bums off the table, and using leverage from the lasso, fling themselves off the side... and since they’re tied up to me, they would then be hanging by their feet from my neck.  Well, phew, at least my hands are free now to flip them back up to the table. Come to think of it, that does seem very lasso-like.

2.  Which leads me to my next thought. Now I’m no recall-product expert, but it seems to me like this thing has some great recall potential.  If the Recall Gods (who makes those decisions anyway?!) are going to recall a sweatshirt from Wal-Mart because the zipper might fall off and a baby might choke on it, then something that could potentially lead to a baby swinging from her parents’ necks seems like it might be problematic.

3.  And lastly, did the designer of this product never change a boy’s diaper? I will admit that I have not, but I am very aware of the hazards involved and this just seems like a recipe for disaster.  Enough said.

So, our happy little family will be continuing to change diapers the old fashioned way.  Now, a diaper changing product that could actually change those 10,000 diapers?  That is something I would love to get my hands on.

image from www.babylasso.com

A Quick Trip to Target

We all know that a trip to Target is never "quick."

There are two kinds of hell that one can find themselves in at Target:

1.  The Overspending Hell:  I went in for toilet paper and ended up spending $200.  This NEVER happens to me (um no, just kidding, see #2).

2.  The I Have Children With Me Hell:

     "Can I get just a small toy?"
     "No, we came for toilet paper."
     "Can we get this pretty shirt?"
     "No.  Toilet paper, remember?"
     "Can I get this box of (expensive) princess band-aids?"
     "No.  TOILET PAPER!!!!!"

We all know that no one makes it this far - hence the $200.   Hell #2 almost always leads to Hell #1.

Anywho, today the two big girls and I were dropped off at the pearly red gates to go pick up a few things. Pa was so confident it would be quick that he opted to stay in car with the snoozing baby.  Our first stop was the bathroom as a pre-emptive strike - and only one child crawled around on the floor to "watch you from the floor while you pee, Mommy!" thus leading to some thorough hand washing at the too-high for her sink.  Which led to a wet shirt... which led to "Can I get a new shirt?" I gave a quick "no" and "Daddy's waiting in the car; we have to be quick!" which actually worked...

The trip was quickly turning into a Target success story: We had only purchased the few items from our list, I had found the ones with discounts from my Cartwheel App (my latest obsession) and the girls weren't fighting.  Too much.  So, I thought, well why don't I go ahead and get them a little something?

I should have known better.

"Okay, Girls, we are going to the art section and you can pick out a little something for being so good today."

"Yay!" They yell in unison.  They're probably thinking SUCKER!!!! in their devilish little minds.  In my little mind, I'm thinking that this will be easy - get them a coloring book and some crayons and then get the heck outta there.

"You can each pick something for $5. Whatever you want.  OR you can join your money together and get something for $10 that you will share."  This seemed like a brilliant idea to me.  They were uninterested.  Instead, they were interested in wandering up and down the aisle acting like they were making Sophie's Choice.  Their little fingers gently caressed each precious Dora or Mickey or princess trinket.  How will I ever decide which piece of crap to buy today?!

I would say, "How about ______" and one would respond, "No..." every single time.  Likely, since it was a suggestion from me, it was immediately shot down.

Five minutes go by.

I keep offering suggestions to no avail... Z. would come up to me with something and I'd say, "Sorry that's not $5, that's $50.  Look over ____ for something."

Ten minutes go by.

I'm getting cranky.  This was a bad idea.  Our double wide shopping cart - which has exactly seven items in it - is blocking the aisle so I keep trying to make a loop around to get out of everyone's way.  Another mother is trying to do the same so we are constantly bumping into each other.  I start to wonder, is there a third level of hell in Target? The My Children Won't Make a Choice so I'm Circling the Aisle with a Double-Wide Cart level of hell?!

"All right, you have two minutes to make a choice and then we're leaving; Daddy's waiting."  They start to pace the aisle. I swear they're sweating.  I'm wondering why I didn't give this ultimatum before.  This is a quick trip no more.  My phone starts buzzing.  I'm outside when you're ready, Pa texts to me.  A gentle way of saying WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!   I respond: We are stalled in the arts and crafts aisle.  The phone buzzes again almost instantly: Was that on the list?  My fingers flicker back: Shut up!  I know he knows what's going on.  I also know that he is loving being in the car listening to talk radio without anyone bugging him.  Lucky bastard, I think...  (Although I wouldn't be listening to talk radio. I would be on Facebook on my phone or... poking around for deals on the Cartwheel App... like I said, my new obsession...)

FINALLY, my two power shoppers have made their all important decisions.  In a shocking turn of events, Z. chose the EXACT Dora coloring book I had suggested ten minutes earlier. A. has actually made a choice that makes me happy -- a journal and some pretty pens.  My little writer in training.

Pa greets us at the front door as the girls race each other to show him their prized possessions.  I am pushing the impossible-to-steer-cart while simultaneously trying not to mow over a small child (especially one of mine) or crash into the huge glass front doors.  Paying to fix those probably isn't on the Cartwheel App.  Perhaps it should be?!

No!

I wrote this a few years ago ... but it still works!

“A, if you want to wear that t-shirt to school, you have to wear a sweatshirt, too, because it’s cold outside.”  

The reply comes in a matter of seconds: “No.”  She responds with the confidence of a politician.  I smile at her clear and direct tone.  

“Yes, you need the sweatshirt; I don’t want you to be too cold.”  

A deep sigh and then, “Okay,” she tells me.  It is as though she knew she’d wear it all along but still had to tell me no.  

Out of sheer curiosity, I counted the number of times A said “no” to me in the last hour and was astonished (but not really) to learn that the number was fifteen.  That is essentially once every three minutes.  She’s two.  I’m sure most readers would have guessed that by now.  

Intellectually, I know these exchanges are normal and that I should be consistent and calm in my approach.  I know that the way I respond to her will lay the groundwork for so many things in her life and our relationship.  I know it’s not personal when she refuses help and attempts to do the opposite of everything.  But she really drives me crazy sometimes. 

According to John Medina, a developmental molecular biologist and author of Brain Rules for Baby, preschoolers require attention 180 times an hour.  That seems about right to me - although I guarantee I never imagined that could be possible when I was pregnant with her, or in the early days after she came home from the hospital and we would nap contentedly together on the couch.  How is it possible to need attention at least once every twenty seconds?  At first, that statistic was funny to both me and my husband.  After thinking about it, though, it starts to feel intimidating.  It could be wonderful to have a happy exchange so frequently with my child.  But it could be troublesome, too.  When I’m tired or cranky or just having a bad day it is possible that three times every minute I am that short-tempered, unreasonable, illogical, mean mother I never want to be.  That’s a lot of pressure.

This business of parenting is hard and full of contrast.  I don’t want a brat but I don’t want to stifle her.  I don’t want her to think that by screaming she can get what she wants, but I don’t want her to be afraid to stand up to me, either (in the rare instance when I am wrong).  I don’t want to be hard on myself when things don’t seem to be going well, but I don’t want to become lazy in my parenting and assume that she will always be okay.  I want to do everything my parents did with and for me, but I don’t want  to do everything my parents did with or for me.  What if everything I am doing feels right, but turns out to be wrong?  

Fortunately for me (and A), on most days I think we are okay.  Despite all of the information and people out there who offer opinions on “best” parenting practices, much of what seems to work for me comes from instinct.  If it doesn’t feel right to me, it won’t feel right for her, either.  If I’m feeling like too much of a meddling mother, I probably am.  If it feels like A is getting away with too much, she probably is.  If I am happy in my world, then she will be, too.  At least I hope so.

I look back into the living room and see A banging on the front door to go outside (and yes, she is wearing the sweatshirt).  “I am ready to go!” she tells me.

“Okay, let me get your sister’s hat and then I’m ready, too!” I tell her.

“No!” she chants back.  

I laugh out loud but don’t respond.  I look down at her new sister and say, “You would never do that to me would you?”  She coos and gurgles.  “You know,” I say to her, “by the time your sister stops saying no all of the time, you will probably take over where she leaves off.”  She laughs and smiles innocently.  I hear A calling from the other room.  This business of parenting really is hard, but would I have it any other way?  No.

The Inaugural Post -- Butt In Chair

From Anne Lamott:

How to write: Butt in chair. Start each day anywhere. Let yourself do it badly. Just take one passage at a time. Get butt back in chair.

I think about writing all of the time. People tell me I should write all of the time. Yet I don't... So here I go. My butt is not in a chair; it's in a bean bag, but I think Anne Lamott would be cool with that.

My subjects are almost always my children or observations on family life. My hope is that I write with a sense of humor that shows a strong sense of love, joy, and gratitude in my family life.

My goal is to post at least two pieces of writing per week. By "writing" I mean something that I have revised and feel good about - or at least a little bit good about it.

Wish me luck... we'll see how this goes...

Also, I think posts without pictures are boring, so I'll try to include pictures, too.