Top Ten Tuesday

I've been seeing lots of blog posts that have some kind of weekly "tradition" - like Throwback Thursday, Friday Finds, Wordless Wednesday, etc... and I like the idea.  But being me and being difficult I have decided to come up with my own thing - so, Top Ten Tuesdays it is. This might be the only Tuesday this happens... we'll see. I'm the decider, remember?

Top Ten Things I Love About My Middle Baby: Zany Z

First of all, now that I have 3 kids I totally understand how the middle child sometimes is left out or left behind or whatever... With the oldest every new milestone is AMAZING OUR CHILD IS A GENIUS!!!! and with the youngest every new milestone is MY LAST BABY TO EVER REACH THIS MILESTONE!!!!  So, with my middle one I worry she feels left out or left behind or not important, which is absolutely not true.  I hope my anxiety about that is just anxiety and not a reality...   

So here we have my Top 10 for this week

10.  She can sleep like a champ.  I knew from the very beginning that she was just like me - a couch potato who loves to lie on the couch and just chill out.  Our first morning home from the hospital she was in bed with me and she was just so content to sleep forever. I knew then we were sleeping soul mates.

9.   She is fearless yet tentative all at once. She does not take risks right away, but once she is comfortable she will be loud and busy and attracting attention in ways that no one else does. 

8.   She loves to pretend and use her imagination.  She will take something that she has heard or read (like the 3 Little Bears) and just run with it. She will dress up and make up stories or lead circle time or sing songs from school.  And she will be happy doing it with someone else or all by herself.

7.   Whenever Baby V starts crying she will immediately start singing our song to her "Baby V V we love you..." over and over again until she settles down.  Baby V has started to settle quickly when she sings to her - she seems to know it's coming.

6.  She has no problem standing up to her older sister, A.  She is one of the few people who does this with regularity.  She will immediately yell, "No, A!!! No!!!" if there is some kind of conflict.  She can get mad on a dime, but she can also immediately be sweet and loving as soon as the conflict is over.

5.   She can and will happily play by herself for long periods of time.

4.   She loves to sing.

3.   She will do almost anything you ask AS LONG as she's gotten a heads up.  No heads up?  Forget about it.

2.  When she cries (which is a lot because she is SO passionate about everything) she produces actual real tears. There's no messing around with her emotions.

1.  She has a spirit about her that is full of life and joy that is contagious to anyone who is around her. Today at Target every person who walked by us smiled at her because she was either singing or telling a story or shouting out a joyful exclamation at whatever crossed her path.  It is fun to watch her learn about the world and fun to watch others get to know her as she does that.

Yup, it's Wednesday already.  I'm behind before I even get started!

Baby Lasso?!

A Product Review: Baby Lasso

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you have heard about an amazing new product for busy parents called the Baby Lasso.  Okay who am I kidding - no one’s heard about it unless you have a lot of spare time like me to read ridiculous stories on the internet (like this one).

Now, when one hears about something called a “baby lasso” it probably brings some interesting images to mind. For me, that image involves my children running amok around our house as I chase them like a crazy woman from the wild west.  Then I whip out my trusty baby lasso, round them up, and ship them off to bed.

Alas, this is not that product.

As a mother of three children, I have changed a lot of diapers in the last five years. Some quick math tells me that number is close to 10,000 diapers (An average of 5 diapers a day x 365 x 5 = 9,125).  So, I have some good authority on the topic of wrestling squirmy toddlers while simultaneously cleaning up some pretty gross stuff.  The Baby Lasso is designed to allow you to be hands free while changing a diaper.  The idea is that you loop/tie your baby’s legs into what appears to be a fabric-like scarf that is draped around your neck.   There are so many directions I could go in being snarky commenting about this must-have baby registry item, but I have chosen to focus on three.

1.  If your baby/toddler is a major squirmer during diaper changes, is it a good idea to tie his/her legs up and hook them to your neck?! If you’re changing the baby on the changing table then that means you have taken your hands off the little jumping bean. My kids are experts at contortionistic acrobatics mid-gross diaper change and so I imagine that they would quickly lift their cute little bums off the table, and using leverage from the lasso, fling themselves off the side... and since they’re tied up to me, they would then be hanging by their feet from my neck.  Well, phew, at least my hands are free now to flip them back up to the table. Come to think of it, that does seem very lasso-like.

2.  Which leads me to my next thought. Now I’m no recall-product expert, but it seems to me like this thing has some great recall potential.  If the Recall Gods (who makes those decisions anyway?!) are going to recall a sweatshirt from Wal-Mart because the zipper might fall off and a baby might choke on it, then something that could potentially lead to a baby swinging from her parents’ necks seems like it might be problematic.

3.  And lastly, did the designer of this product never change a boy’s diaper? I will admit that I have not, but I am very aware of the hazards involved and this just seems like a recipe for disaster.  Enough said.

So, our happy little family will be continuing to change diapers the old fashioned way.  Now, a diaper changing product that could actually change those 10,000 diapers?  That is something I would love to get my hands on.

image from www.babylasso.com

A Quick Trip to Target

We all know that a trip to Target is never "quick."

There are two kinds of hell that one can find themselves in at Target:

1.  The Overspending Hell:  I went in for toilet paper and ended up spending $200.  This NEVER happens to me (um no, just kidding, see #2).

2.  The I Have Children With Me Hell:

     "Can I get just a small toy?"
     "No, we came for toilet paper."
     "Can we get this pretty shirt?"
     "No.  Toilet paper, remember?"
     "Can I get this box of (expensive) princess band-aids?"
     "No.  TOILET PAPER!!!!!"

We all know that no one makes it this far - hence the $200.   Hell #2 almost always leads to Hell #1.

Anywho, today the two big girls and I were dropped off at the pearly red gates to go pick up a few things. Pa was so confident it would be quick that he opted to stay in car with the snoozing baby.  Our first stop was the bathroom as a pre-emptive strike - and only one child crawled around on the floor to "watch you from the floor while you pee, Mommy!" thus leading to some thorough hand washing at the too-high for her sink.  Which led to a wet shirt... which led to "Can I get a new shirt?" I gave a quick "no" and "Daddy's waiting in the car; we have to be quick!" which actually worked...

The trip was quickly turning into a Target success story: We had only purchased the few items from our list, I had found the ones with discounts from my Cartwheel App (my latest obsession) and the girls weren't fighting.  Too much.  So, I thought, well why don't I go ahead and get them a little something?

I should have known better.

"Okay, Girls, we are going to the art section and you can pick out a little something for being so good today."

"Yay!" They yell in unison.  They're probably thinking SUCKER!!!! in their devilish little minds.  In my little mind, I'm thinking that this will be easy - get them a coloring book and some crayons and then get the heck outta there.

"You can each pick something for $5. Whatever you want.  OR you can join your money together and get something for $10 that you will share."  This seemed like a brilliant idea to me.  They were uninterested.  Instead, they were interested in wandering up and down the aisle acting like they were making Sophie's Choice.  Their little fingers gently caressed each precious Dora or Mickey or princess trinket.  How will I ever decide which piece of crap to buy today?!

I would say, "How about ______" and one would respond, "No..." every single time.  Likely, since it was a suggestion from me, it was immediately shot down.

Five minutes go by.

I keep offering suggestions to no avail... Z. would come up to me with something and I'd say, "Sorry that's not $5, that's $50.  Look over ____ for something."

Ten minutes go by.

I'm getting cranky.  This was a bad idea.  Our double wide shopping cart - which has exactly seven items in it - is blocking the aisle so I keep trying to make a loop around to get out of everyone's way.  Another mother is trying to do the same so we are constantly bumping into each other.  I start to wonder, is there a third level of hell in Target? The My Children Won't Make a Choice so I'm Circling the Aisle with a Double-Wide Cart level of hell?!

"All right, you have two minutes to make a choice and then we're leaving; Daddy's waiting."  They start to pace the aisle. I swear they're sweating.  I'm wondering why I didn't give this ultimatum before.  This is a quick trip no more.  My phone starts buzzing.  I'm outside when you're ready, Pa texts to me.  A gentle way of saying WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!   I respond: We are stalled in the arts and crafts aisle.  The phone buzzes again almost instantly: Was that on the list?  My fingers flicker back: Shut up!  I know he knows what's going on.  I also know that he is loving being in the car listening to talk radio without anyone bugging him.  Lucky bastard, I think...  (Although I wouldn't be listening to talk radio. I would be on Facebook on my phone or... poking around for deals on the Cartwheel App... like I said, my new obsession...)

FINALLY, my two power shoppers have made their all important decisions.  In a shocking turn of events, Z. chose the EXACT Dora coloring book I had suggested ten minutes earlier. A. has actually made a choice that makes me happy -- a journal and some pretty pens.  My little writer in training.

Pa greets us at the front door as the girls race each other to show him their prized possessions.  I am pushing the impossible-to-steer-cart while simultaneously trying not to mow over a small child (especially one of mine) or crash into the huge glass front doors.  Paying to fix those probably isn't on the Cartwheel App.  Perhaps it should be?!

No!

I wrote this a few years ago ... but it still works!

“A, if you want to wear that t-shirt to school, you have to wear a sweatshirt, too, because it’s cold outside.”  

The reply comes in a matter of seconds: “No.”  She responds with the confidence of a politician.  I smile at her clear and direct tone.  

“Yes, you need the sweatshirt; I don’t want you to be too cold.”  

A deep sigh and then, “Okay,” she tells me.  It is as though she knew she’d wear it all along but still had to tell me no.  

Out of sheer curiosity, I counted the number of times A said “no” to me in the last hour and was astonished (but not really) to learn that the number was fifteen.  That is essentially once every three minutes.  She’s two.  I’m sure most readers would have guessed that by now.  

Intellectually, I know these exchanges are normal and that I should be consistent and calm in my approach.  I know that the way I respond to her will lay the groundwork for so many things in her life and our relationship.  I know it’s not personal when she refuses help and attempts to do the opposite of everything.  But she really drives me crazy sometimes. 

According to John Medina, a developmental molecular biologist and author of Brain Rules for Baby, preschoolers require attention 180 times an hour.  That seems about right to me - although I guarantee I never imagined that could be possible when I was pregnant with her, or in the early days after she came home from the hospital and we would nap contentedly together on the couch.  How is it possible to need attention at least once every twenty seconds?  At first, that statistic was funny to both me and my husband.  After thinking about it, though, it starts to feel intimidating.  It could be wonderful to have a happy exchange so frequently with my child.  But it could be troublesome, too.  When I’m tired or cranky or just having a bad day it is possible that three times every minute I am that short-tempered, unreasonable, illogical, mean mother I never want to be.  That’s a lot of pressure.

This business of parenting is hard and full of contrast.  I don’t want a brat but I don’t want to stifle her.  I don’t want her to think that by screaming she can get what she wants, but I don’t want her to be afraid to stand up to me, either (in the rare instance when I am wrong).  I don’t want to be hard on myself when things don’t seem to be going well, but I don’t want to become lazy in my parenting and assume that she will always be okay.  I want to do everything my parents did with and for me, but I don’t want  to do everything my parents did with or for me.  What if everything I am doing feels right, but turns out to be wrong?  

Fortunately for me (and A), on most days I think we are okay.  Despite all of the information and people out there who offer opinions on “best” parenting practices, much of what seems to work for me comes from instinct.  If it doesn’t feel right to me, it won’t feel right for her, either.  If I’m feeling like too much of a meddling mother, I probably am.  If it feels like A is getting away with too much, she probably is.  If I am happy in my world, then she will be, too.  At least I hope so.

I look back into the living room and see A banging on the front door to go outside (and yes, she is wearing the sweatshirt).  “I am ready to go!” she tells me.

“Okay, let me get your sister’s hat and then I’m ready, too!” I tell her.

“No!” she chants back.  

I laugh out loud but don’t respond.  I look down at her new sister and say, “You would never do that to me would you?”  She coos and gurgles.  “You know,” I say to her, “by the time your sister stops saying no all of the time, you will probably take over where she leaves off.”  She laughs and smiles innocently.  I hear A calling from the other room.  This business of parenting really is hard, but would I have it any other way?  No.

The Inaugural Post -- Butt In Chair

From Anne Lamott:

How to write: Butt in chair. Start each day anywhere. Let yourself do it badly. Just take one passage at a time. Get butt back in chair.

I think about writing all of the time. People tell me I should write all of the time. Yet I don't... So here I go. My butt is not in a chair; it's in a bean bag, but I think Anne Lamott would be cool with that.

My subjects are almost always my children or observations on family life. My hope is that I write with a sense of humor that shows a strong sense of love, joy, and gratitude in my family life.

My goal is to post at least two pieces of writing per week. By "writing" I mean something that I have revised and feel good about - or at least a little bit good about it.

Wish me luck... we'll see how this goes...

Also, I think posts without pictures are boring, so I'll try to include pictures, too.