Please don't call Hoarders on me!

As my children have gotten older, I've begun to wonder if they have some kind of special magnetic field inside their little bodies that causes a variety of messes to be magically created as they pass by.  In the span of five minutes, a clean room can be instantly transformed into an episode of Hoarders. In fact, if you show up at my house at just the wrong time, you would seriously consider contacting the producers to get them to come film us.  And don't even get me started on my mini-van.  

Toys organized neatly on a shelf or in a bin?  BAM scattered all over the floor.  

A stack of paper sitting on the counter?  BAM scattered all over the floor.

Clothes folded inside a laundry basket?  BAM scattered all over the floor.

Today I walked into the living room and found that Z had been playing doctor with her dolls and covered them in band-aids. Adorable, right?  Except on the floor were what appeared to be millions of bits of band-aid wrappings - both the exterior packaging AND the little white strips that adhere to the sticky parts. She'd probably unwrapped 50... which means there were at least 150 little pieces of paper strewn about.

Not so cute anymore.  Except it still is because when I said, "Oh, Z, what a mess!"  She said, "Mommy it's okay; I'm playing and sometimes it's messy."  

So, I am always on the look-out for ways to manage the clutter that comes with 3 kids.  I want ideas that are practical (like I can actually do it) and that don't make me go insane, give up and collapse in a heap on the couch.  That's the hardest hurdle to overcome: The Couch.  It's always a-callin' my name.  This weekend, I stumbled across this article titled "Say Goodbye to Clutter."  I thought it could have some good ideas...

It was the dumbest article I have ever read in my life.  Okay, that might be a bit of hyperbole, but it was certainly a disappointment.  I've decided to respond line-by-line to each suggestion.  There are only 5... That should have been the tip off: Only 5 suggestions for managing clutter? Puh-lease - clearly you've never been to my house.

1.  Have an ongoing yard sale box.

Okay not a terrible idea.  I am most certainly not organized enough to plan ahead for a yard sale, but I do have boxes around the house where I toss clothes the girls have grown out of so that I can store them or donate them.  Doesn't help my clutter.

2.  Annual clutter elimination.

Not a terrible idea but not going to help me on a day-to-day basis. Also, here's how this would play out for me:

Self-to-Self: "Hey, I should do my annual clutter elimination soon!"

Self-to-Self: "Yeah, great idea, how about tomorrow!"

Self-to-Self: "Cool, good idea. Let's go sit on the couch."

And then suddenly it's 6 months later ...

3.  The No-Pile Rule.

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!  Oh, okay, just don't leave piles around the house. Seriously, for real?  I'm not a moron - I know that piles lead to clutter. THAT'S WHY I'M READING THE DAMN ARTICLE.  

4.  In the door, in its place.

So, whenever something comes in the house it goes into a pre-arranged place. Like coats on a hook, backpacks by the door, junk mail in the recycle bin.  Yeah, I already do that.  Doesn't help my clutter.  

5.  Avoid clutter collecting furniture.

Oh, great, so this helps.  I will just get rid of all couches, tables, countertops, beds, and windowsills in the house.  Also the floor.  

I think I'll just go back to the couch and give up.  I'd rather have happy kids and a messy house than unhappy kids and a clean house anyway...

Why I Love Holiday Cards!

I love Christmas and New Year's and all the family and magic and FOOD and special moments blah blah blah but I REALLY love holidays cards. It is without a doubt my favorite time of the year. I love making our cards, writing little notes, addressing them and thinking about all of the people around the country who we love who will soon have a card from us.  I love getting them from all of our family and friends - some down the street - some as far away as Hawaii - some who we see all of the time - some who we haven't seen in years.  I love adding new people to our list and I love getting cards from new friends.  I love when December rolls around and our mailbox starts being filled with cards other than bills (because that's ALL we get the rest of the year!)

Some argue we don't need holiday cards anymore now that we are so virtually connected - facebook, instagram, snapchat, texting - haven't I seen all of your pictures throughout the year anyway?  I say phooey to that.  A holiday card goes on my wall.  Because I never clean or organize, it stays there for well over a month or more and many, many times a day I see your face - or those of your children - and I literally smile.  My kids look up at the cards and either say, "Oh, look, that's _____!" and we talk about that family - or they say, "Who's that?" And then we get to talk about who that person is and why or how they're important to us.  It's great for our kids to have a face to put to some of the names we talk about it and it's also great for our kids to see pictures of people who we just don't see that often.  I just love it.  It is not the same when it's an e-card.  

Some argue that it is not environmentally friendly. Or economically friendly. I say phooey to that, too. I don't send out cards all year long - the joy that comes from my December mailing far outweighs whatever carbon footprint I may leave behind or the $150 or so I spend. Yes, all of them will eventually end up in the garbage or recycling - but who cares.  Our hope is that even if for a day, a few days, or a month we will let someone else know we are thinking about them and we love them.  You can't put a price on that.

Here's our card wall from this year.  

If you sent us a card, thank you - we love it! It made our Christmas that much more special to literally see your smiles and your joy - especially if we don't see you often.  It doesn't matter what challenges came in the past year - all those cards show are joy. That's what the holidays are all about. And I'm already excited for what we will find next year in our mailbox. 

Why am I running?

I am determined. 

So I've started running.  Anyone who knows me probably finds this a little odd.  I've never really been like this before.  I'm kind of a lazy, actually...

Just a little over a year ago, my pregnancy with Baby V took a turn for the worse.  Actually, the pregnancy was relatively fine, but my body was fighting it every step of the way.  In addition to insulin dependent gestational diabetes, I developed a bizarre case of mastitis that resulted in surgery, bed rest, and kept me out of work for the rest of the pregnancy.  I was literally the teacher who never returned from Christmas vacation.

January was the worst month.  As a side effect of the infection, I developed weird bruise-like lesions up and down both of my legs from my ankles up to my knees.  It was excruciating to walk.  Getting up in the morning was the worst -- I would essentially crawl to the bathroom, sit on the toilet for 5 minutes or so while letting the blood flow into my legs, and then slowly stand up and hobble around.  Eventually things would get moving enough that I could sort of walk around. It was painful; it was weird; it was demoralizing.

yes, those were my feet

One morning during that painful time, while driving my kids to their preschools, I saw a woman running and thought to myself, She doesn't know how lucky she is that she can do that.  It felt like I would never be able to do anything like that.

Have I always been into running?  Definitely no. In high school, I played field hockey and loved it, but loathed the running.  Run a lap around the field to warm up? Hated it.  Run a few miles for conditioning? Definitely hated it.  Want to join the track team with all of my friends? Nope, it involved running.  I could do it, I just hated it. I liked the feeling of exercise and loved when my body felt strong, but running was just not for me. Periodically throughout my young adult life, I would take up running and it would last exactly one day.  Ten minutes would feel like ten years and all I could think about was when it would be over. 

There has always been one exception to this hatred of all things running related.  At my family summer house there is one route that I have always enjoyed.  Starting around the age of 14, I began to use it to get in shape for field hockey season.  It is rather strange that this short 2 mile run is one I have always enjoyed. It’s on a busy road, but also along the water, which seemed to make up for the fast moving cars.  I would get home and jump into the lake feeling refreshed and strong.  When I was 25 I spent a lot of time at this house and ran a few times a week -- more than I had in years.  Summer ended, however; and I just couldn't find that same groove, that same motivation, the same route that kept me going.  It was around this time that I met Pa and he loves to mention, "Remember when I thought you were a runner?" Ha.  The fact that there was this one place where I could run means that the seed of success is somewhere inside of me.  It just might have taken some extra digging for it to be revealed.

Here I am running my first 5k with my dad many moons ago...

I am still early into this new running gig but I really think it's going to stick.  There's just something I feel inside of me that tells me this is it.  The second week has been harder than the first  - and it's been bitterly cold - but I have my warm gear, and I have that memory of seeing that woman running and thinking that I'd never be able to do that.  My goal is to run a half marathon in May and I really think I'm going to do it.  I know what it felt like to spend hours a day on the couch because I had to - and I'll be remembering that when I cross that finish line.  Or any finish line - it really doesn't matter. Every day that I'm out there running it's for me - to be strong, to get stronger, and to feel good. That's all that really matters.

I am determined.

Top Ten Tuesday

Top Ten Reasons I Haven't Blogged in Two Weeks:

10.  I'm tired.
9.   On a recent night, Baby V was up at 11, 1, 3, & 5.
8.   A. had strep throat...
7.  ...Then a week later A. had an allergic reaction to amoxicillin and was covered in hives...
6.  ...and A. had to go to the ER and then puked up the prednisone she was given for the hives.
5.  V. started crawling, pulling up, and cruising all at once!
4.  I'm having major writer's block and am working on something that I cannot get going.
3.  Our Elf on the Shelf stares at me with his beady little eyes from over the fireplace and taunts me...
2.  Days of Our Lives has totally sucked me in what with their Gabi murders Nick storyline.
1.  I'm tired.

Top Ten Tuesday

Someone reminded me today is Tuesday... which means I said I was going to go with my Top Ten Thing or whatever.  I can't fall off the wagon after just one week, can I?!

Top Ten Things I Love About My Mom

This is inspired by our phone conversation this evening.  She called in a panic because she'd seen a Slate news article that had been accidentally posted to my Facebook page by my seven month old.  That's right, Folks, I gave Baby V my phone this afternoon to keep her occupied on the floor while I watched all important episode of Days of Our Lives prepared an organic and from scratch meal for dinner, and she managed to randomly post an article from my Slate News App to Facebook.

Here's the article

In case you don't want to read the article, it's about how children of divorce deal with splitting up Thanksgiving and how some divorced couples come together for the holiday so the kids don't have to divide time.

Our conversation went something like this:
Me: Hi Mom.
Mom: WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THE ARTICLE ON YOUR FACEBOOK PAGE????
Me: Huh?
Mom: It's about how divorced parents should have Thanksgiving together with their kids.
Me: Huh?
Mom: I've been worried about this ALL AFTERNOON!  What am I not doing as a mother? How am I failing you?
Me: Huh?
Mom: It's the article on your Facebook page!!!!
Me: Ohhhhhhhhhhh Baby V somehow posted that while she was chewing on my phone this afternoon and I deleted it.
Mom: Oh.
Me: Do you really think I'd use social media to work through my issues with your divorce?
Mom: Well it did seem out of character for you.  This makes more sense.

So, here we have it.  In the one minute that this article was up on my page, my mother (who works full time and is not normally online during the day) managed to see it, read it, and immediately fear the worst.  Bahahahahahahahahaha!

In celebration of her fantastic concern for my well-being, here we have it:

Top Ten Things I Love About My Mom.

10.  She can go from nap to high energy in under a minute.  One minute she's sleeping on the couch, the next she's up re-arranging furniture and adjusting picture frames.
9.  She taught me to love reading.
8.  She doesn't get mad when I "borrow" her clothes and act like I never knew they were hers (this never happens).
7.  She does NOT comment on how messy my car is when she has to drive in it.  She just pushes the junk important stuff to the floor and gets into the passenger seat.
6.  She works hard to maintain our summer house as a place where our entire family can come and grow together.
5.  She reads this blog and says it's great.
4.  She never stops learning new things and trying to get better at old things.
3.  She makes me lentil soup.
2.  She has overcome amazing and unexpected adversity in her life with an inspiring and amazingly positive attitude.
1.  My kids think she is way cooler than I am.

Family

Anyone who knows me well, knows that every summer my family spends a lot of time together at our summer house in New York.  It's a hard to explain place because it's not just a house and it's not just a place.  It's the center of everything that we all are.

Our story begins in the early 1900s when three siblings bought a piece of land on the shore of a beautiful lake. Each built a house for their families and began to bring them there every summer. Not much has changed since. In the early 70s we all got indoor plumbing and electricity, and more recently some of us have updated our kitchens, but otherwise, everything is the same.  The windows, the wrap around front porches, the rocky shoreline protected by centuries old pine trees, the original windows, the beaded pine wood panelling...it's all the same  We look at old photographs and there's not much that is different.  When I look at a picture of my great-great grandmother sitting in the exact same chair in the exact same spot on the exact same porch that I do every summer, my breath catches just a bit.  Those three siblings had good taste - and amazing foresight.  Their descendants still swim in the same water and sit on the front porches of those exact same houses and have cocktails together nearly every night. We even eat off some of the same plates.  

In our house, there are small reminders of those people who came before us.  In the attic, my great-great-grandfather's doctor's bag still has cotton balls inside of it waiting to be used. His steamer trunk they used to pack and load onto the trains that brought them from Brooklyn sit in the back corner. My grandmother's college year book rests on the book shelf next to our DVR and my grandfather's flashlight is on the mantle above the fireplace.  Many of us have felt like there are friendly spirits in all of our houses and each of us has different stories to share.  On the eve of my great-aunt's birthday my sister swears she woke up in the middle of the night and heard her walking around her bed (while she slept in this aunt's bed in her bedroom).  My grandfather would routinely tell us "This house is haunted."  But we all knew it wasn't in a bad way.  When we close up the house in October I often feel like all of the spirits of those who came before come to descend on the house as we drive away. They are our winter-time protectors.

Growing up I did not really appreciate this unique situation. I knew how lucky I was to have a summer house on a lake, but I didn't really quite get the immensity of the family connection.  At this point we are all distantly related and have become adept at knowing the difference between a second cousin and a first cousin twice-removed, but how many people out there actually know those far removed cousins?  This is what makes us special.

Last weekend, we gathered for the funeral of one of those family members. He lived a long life with many summers on the lake and while it was sad to lose him, it also brought us all together again. We never see each other in November - it was bonus family time thanks to him.  We filled nearly four rows in a church - the descendants of those 3 siblings with the great taste and the amazing foresight -- not just as acquaintances but as a family.  As I looked at my family from behind (because I was in the bathroom when they all filed into the church together and I had to sit by myself behind all of them... thanks guys!!!) it was striking to me that as much as we love our special spot on the water,  it's more about the relationships that have grown out of those houses.  Next May when we return to open those houses for the summer, I will have cocktails with four different generations that all came from the same spot on the family tree.  It is a powerful notion for me to realize that when I am gone, my grandchildren will be doing the same.  In the same spot. Perhaps even from the same glass.

And here we have three beautiful girls who will grow old together on the shores of this beautiful lake.  Right now they are busy figuring out how to play together  - and while they only see each other a few times each summer, they are always excited when they do. It's as though deep down they already know how special this all is.  Their great-great-great grandparents would be happy. Very happy.

A few thoughts

I'm working on a new post - it's longer than the others so it's taking me awhile.  A few things as I get this blog going:

1. As of today I had 1100 hits on the blog - that is so awesome and thanks for reading! I"m sure 1,000 of them were my mom, but still it's a good feeling for me.
2.  If you want, you can become a follower which just means you'll get an email when I post and it makes me look good.  I think you can navigate to that on the right side bar of the blog... I'm going to work on submitting some of what I write for publication and if I have followers it looks like there are people who actually read my stuff.
3.  You can also comment on the posts - my mom seems to be having difficulty but others tell me it's easy.  I love to hear feedback and if you have something you want me to write about (or more about) then let me know!
4.  Feel free to share my blog with anyone who might be interested - and feel free to share others' blogs with me that I might find interesting.  I will add them to my "reading list" on the sidebar on the right.

Thanks for supporting me - your positive comments since I "went live" have made me feel so lucky and given me the motivation to keep going!